While I was doing dishes tonight, David ran into the kitchen, gave me a huge hug, smiled from ear to ear and gave me an enthusiastic, "Good night, mommy!"
Yes, he goes to bed early. You would need the sleep too if you woke up at 5:30am every morning!
Anyway, as I watched him run smiling towards his daddy and into his room to read a book, my heart felt all warm and fuzzy and I thought to myself...I need to cherish this moment. I was then reminded of a time when those warm and fuzzy feelings were accompanied by sadness. As a foster parent, you treasure every special moment you have with your child because you are always aware of the fact that they will be limited. And so you eat up those hugs and kisses, try to memorize those firsts, and do your best to ignore the subtle sense of loss in knowing that you may not be there to comfort them when they need it....you may not be there for their other 'firsts.'
I hope that didn't come off as complaining. I am, in fact, thankful to be a foster parent. I wouldn't change it because it gives me great insight into the loss that birth parents experience. It is a constant reminder that these children...whether they are with us for a short while or forever, are God's children first.
Because I was David's foster mommy first...I know that I feel so much more blessed to have had the opportunity to:
* watch him sleep peacefully as an infant (look at all that hair and that chubby little face!)
* look at that adorable smile with those irresistible dimples almost every day!
* take him swimming for the first time
* be there for his first steps and first words..
* witness numerous hair cuts (Lee has me beat on this one:)
* share him with his grandparents
* and celebrate his second year of life
Thank you, God, for allowing us to be David's foster parents first and for blessing us with the privilege of being his forever parents!
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