How Children Grieve

D: "This is Ashuhley's pinwheel!"

M: "It sure is...do you want to put it next to her flowers?"

D: "Yes."

(a few minutes later)

D: "Does Ashuhley miss her mommy?"

M: "Sweetheart, Jesus is taking very good care of her in heaven- giving her lots of hugs and kisses. I don't think Ashley is sad, I think she is happy and waiting for her mommy."

D: "Where is her mommy?"

M: "Jaqueline is in Mexico."

D: "Does she miss Ashuhley?"

M: "Yes, I am sure she does and she might feel a little sad because she misses her. I miss Ashley too- do you miss her sometimes?"

D: (serious) "Yes."

(a few seconds later)

D: "My race car goes really fast!"

It has been so interesting for me to see how David has processed Ashley's death since he was essentially in the middle of everything when it happened. I had learned once that children need to grieve in short spurts- alternating between playing and experiencing sadness. I would say that David is right on target with that and I pray that we continue to help him feel safe enough to share what is on his mind about anything that has made an impact on his little heart.