David Loves...

..his daddy,

anything that 'goes fast'

including pink motorcycles:),

trucks and many other vehicles,

but nothing beats spending time with his big brother!

It has been pretty incredible to see how God has used David in the lives of his birth and foster siblings. Both he and his big brother seem to be extra sensitive to what others are feeling and I know that David, despite his young age, has helped to provide comfort and security for the little (and not so little) children who have joined our family.

The most recent examples I can think of were with Jaqueline and Ashley. Oh how he loved Jaqueline and Ashley! After they left for Mexico, David would often ask about them whenever he saw an airplane, "Where are Jaqueline and Ashley? They in Mekeekeeko (Mexico)?"

He was SO excited to hear that they would both be coming back to the US and especially when Ashley came home with us from the hospital. He was asleep when they arrived, but ran to Ashley's crib in the morning when we woke up to give her medication. He wanted desperately to give her a kiss, but Ashley's breathing was worsening and we had to rush to get her oxygen.

David started crying when I told him we had to leave for school. He explained, "I sad for Ashley. I worried for Ashley." It was hard for me not to break into tears because he was expressing my exact emotions at that moment as well. I told him that it was ok to cry and feel sad, but that we didn't have to worry because Ashley's mommy was taking care of her, daddy was taking care of her, and God was taking care of her.

In the car on our way to school, David verbalized what I had told him. "Jaqueline take care Ashley, daddy take care Ashley, and God take care Ashley." I realized that I had to prepare him for what was to come and so I added, "And when Ashley goes to heaven, Jesus will take care of her." He thought about that for a while and then said, "Oh, ok."

I didn't think that it would all go so fast. By that evening we were back at the hospital with Ashley. Wait. That sounds so matter of fact, but this was one the most vivid of memories I have of Ashley and Jaqueline's time here. Ashley had a rough day and her breathing had worsened. I kept trying to reach her doctor at Children's, but no one was answering. I could go into the role that hospice played on this day, but I will purposefully avoid that. The only thing that I will mention is that by 6pm, I finally spoke with Ashley's nurse on the phone and in response to my concerns, she told me matter of factly, "You do know that's end of life breathing you are hearing."

Jaqueline was looking at me expectantly, wanting to know what the nurse recommended and my jaw just dropped. It was everything I could do to hold back the tears in order to answer, "Ok...I don't know how to respond to that." and then we hung up. I had to tell a mother, a young girl who felt like my daughter, that her little girl was about to die.

We called family to come over, took her handprints, and then Jaqueline decided that she wanted to take her to the ER. I completely agreed and against the wishes of the hospice nurse, I drove Ashley (hooked up to her portable oxygen) back to Children's.

It was a route that I had memorized over the past month, but this time was different. I can't tell you how I prayed over and over... "Dear God, please don't let her die in the car...please don't let her die in the car." Her breathing slowed to every 15-20 seconds. I tried to stay calm as we drove.

We entered the ER. Doctors were waiting for Ashley, but the security guard wouldn't let her pass, we had to stand in line...a long line. I told him twice that Ashley wasn't breathing and he finally let her through. The nurses were waiting and brought her into the crash room. There we were asked about how much Jaqueline wanted them to do to keep her alive. It was surreal. It was hard to keep it together. I kept hearing the beeping of her monitors and was just waiting for that sound that would indicate she was no longer with us. I didn't know how we would respond. Jaqueline was with Ashley and I was answering questions, making sure that Jaqueline had tissues and something to drink. Finally, things settled down. Jaqueline was with Ashley next to her hospital bed. Ashley's father was there as well. It was quiet except for the beeping. Most of the professionals had left the room. I approached Ashley, stroked her forehead and gave her a kiss. "Tell Jesus that mommy promised you some empanadas when you get to heaven, Ashley." Jaqueline smiled and kissed her daughter.

We were moved to another room for the night and Ashley was still breathing, her vitals stable.

There is more, but I realize that I may have shared more information than you care to know. I was contemplating skipping around to give examples of how God used David during this time, but I feel compelled to write out the complete story. It is hard for me to share this verbally and therapeutic to be able to write it all out so please bear with me!

I will continue to share in another post...