Transition Day 8 - "I've Never Seen You Cry"

I'm feeling worn.

This morning was a sweet quiet time of looking at old pictures and watching old videos with Little D.

This afternoon was intense. Little D was very irritable and defiant after his therapy session. This is nothing new and still intrigues me. It was his last one, though, and his therapist said he had a nice time with his dad in there so that was good.

A good friend kindly picked up David and drove him to his therapy appointment while I drove Little D and his dad to the hotel. I thought perhaps the little guy might sleep... Nope! That didn't happen. Oh well, it makes for easy bedtimes over here.

I drove back to meet with David's therapist for a little while and then took the boys out for dinner and some grocery shopping. We talked a little over dinner about how we would all feel quite sad when Little D was gone and how we would all just feel like crying.

Then Anthony commented, "But mommy, you don't cry..."

And David added, "Yeah, I've never seen you cry!"

I argued, "What about the time I cried when we read Charlotte's Web or recently when we read The Cricket in Times Square and the cat and the mouse were saying goodbye to Chester?"

"You weren't crying! You were just sniffling a little." they explained.

I suppose they are right. I don't tend to like crying in front of people. I am more of a "go for a ride in my car and park in a parking lot and cry" kind of girl.

We'll see if I cry in front of the kids after Little D. leaves. David would likely take on the role of comforter and I am guessing Anthony will just freeze. I'm actually not sure he could handle that, but maybe I am wrong and it will be good for him?

So we picked the little guy up tonight and he wanted to stay and sleep at the hotel. Lee and I are talking about how perhaps we should push up his first overnight? I'll email his therapist and ask. I selfishly don't want to, but if he is ready then we don't want to prolong it.

How I feel: Tired. Worn out. I am realizing how much it helped to have Lee around to translate and help facilitate this transition....to bear the burden with me. Without him, it feels a little overwhelming at times, but we are hanging in there. I am praying that tomorrow I have renewed energy and feel rested because it is a back and forth kind of day....helping his dad move into his new hotel.

How the boys feel: Anthony is opening up  more and acknowledging that he feels sad. I am SO proud of him. I cannot tell you how happy it makes me. This is a huge deal for him. David is doing pretty well too.

How Little D. feels: I'm really not sure. He is starting to have a little push - pull with his dad. He's done it with me too. It is good that they have alone time because Little D. tends to be more interactive and affectionate one on one.