Official Goodbye

We were up at 4am and faced the cold morning air as we walked toward the hotel. 

Today was the day. Our official goodbye. I didn't know how any of us were going to handle it. The big boys seemed to be in pretty good spirits so that was a good sign. 

"Dear God, please please let this goodbye be easier than the other day." I prayed. 

And it was. The little guy reached for me to hold him. He was cheerful and despite being tired, he was happily anticipating his upcoming airplane adventure. He interacted nicely with the big boys and we each got a hug and high five before he walked away with his dad toward security....looking back and shouting, "BYE!!!" to all of us multiple times until we were out of sight. 

This is a picture of us at the airport. Each time he snuggled into me and gave me one of his gentle cheek kisses, I praised God for this final gift. 

And then they were gone. 

And I realized that even though we will likely never see our sweet boy in person again, he has truly become a part of us. Every song I hear reminds me of him (because he had so many favorites!). I hear his little voice and imagine what he might be saying. There isn't a moment that goes by that he doesn't enter my mind. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I fight back tears.

 If I could go back and do this all over again knowing how much this would hurt, I would still say YES a thousand times because being Little D's mommy for these past 4 + 7 months has been the greatest blessing. 

"What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose....for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." 

~ Helen Keller