How Are You? And Other Hard to Answer Questions....

On instinct I answer that I'm great...doing well.

Then I shake my head because it isn't the truth. Not even close.

So I settle with, "We're ok."

The truth is that there is at least one of us close to bursting into tears at any point during the day.

I hear a song that he used to love (oh, and there are so many!) and start tearing up.

Anthony was hugging his carseat tonight and not wanting to leave the car.

David...well, he is just overwhelmed by it.

Our worlds were knitted together. We were a family and now one of us is gone.

The heartache is made more pronounced knowing that in less than 12 hours, we will say a final farewell....not knowing if/when we will ever see him again.

And yet, we grasp hold of our hope. A tight hold because it is what sustains us.

When my world feels dark: 

Psalm 23: The Lord is my shepherd....he refreshes my soul...even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

When I feel the exhaustion take over: 

Matthew 11:28-29 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

When I feel weak:

2 Corinthians 12: 9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

When my heart hurts and I just can't stop crying: 

Revelation 21:4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.

When I feel like I can't do this again and want to give up: 

1 Peter 4: 19 So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

So how am I?

Hurting, but hopeful.
Grieving, but acknowledging God's goodness.
Devastated, but determined to persevere in love.

Why? Because I have a God who loved me enough to suffer and sacrifice far more than I can ever begin to imagine.

How are you?