Inspired & at Peace

(I kind of ramble in the beginning, but please read to the end for an amazing answer to prayer) 

Yesterday was difficult for me. I was struggling with why God wanted me at work when I felt very strongly that it was in A's best interest for me to be home with him. He had barely had a chance to recover from the weekend and was thrust into a new school, new routine, new people, more goodbyes every morning, etc. Then there was the fact that I was exhausted by the time we left for home and
didn't have the patience I needed with either of my children. I began questioning whether I was truly being obedient to God in this or if I had made a mistake...

I was emotional yesterday. I think I felt overwhelmed. I also haven't had the chance to talk with Jaqueline and she has been on my mind often. Memories from last year have left me feeling a little more emotionally taxed.

Ok...so I share all of this so you can know my state of mind yesterday. It was a hard place to be in, but I prayed and yesterday God answered me with this: "I have blessed you with an amazing family...beautiful children, a loving and supportive husband...and I am providing for your family so be THANKFUL." Boy did I feel convicted- in a good way, though, because it brought me back to what is really important. So I thanked God even though I still wasn't sure of the purpose for my circumstances.

Then came today. In the morning David had a tantrum before we left for school. He calmed down in the car and then A was having a difficult time practicing using his words rather than pushing David. I was trying to set up the classroom for the day while simultaneously guiding and monitoring my sometimes sweet and sometimes not so sweet children. I work with amazing people and accepted any and all offers for help!

...dropped David off at his classroom. A gave him a big hug - too cute.
...dropped A off in his classroom...cried and asked me not to go. That was hard.

Went on with my day and then God gave me the gift of answering my question- Why would you want me working full time and then have us accept a long term placement?

A is bilingual, but his skills in both languages are delayed. His speech and voice quality also made me think that we should get his hearing tested prior to a speech and language evaluation. The amazing audiologist at our school responded so quickly to my email requesting a screening and wouldn't you know...A has fluid and a horrible ear infection in both ears and failed his hearing screening for both ears at all frequencies. Poor kid has had a hearing loss for who knows how long! We don't know if it is caused by the fluid or if it is a permanent loss, but a full evaluation will give us that information.

Ok...so seriously? How amazing is that? I mean, how else would we have diagnosed that ear infection and hearing loss so quickly? And what better place to educate him than one that specializes in education for children with hearing loss??

I could not have asked for a more clear answer than that. God is so good and I now have an amazing sense of peace about where we are in this journey and why.