Conversations

Did I say I was going to write tonight? I guess I did...

You know, with my memory, I need to get this all down now before I forget the details!

When Lee and I became foster parents, God led me to Isaiah 58 and verse 12 spoke to my heart in a surprising way. I felt very strongly that God meant to use them to confirm that we were to be a part of the healing not just for the children, but for the families.

¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
   and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
   and your night will become like the noonday.
¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
   he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
   and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
   like a spring whose waters never fail.
¹² YOUR PEOPLE WILL REBUILD THE ANCIENT RUINS
   AND WILL RAISE UP THE AGE-OLD FOUNDATIONS;
YOU WILL BE CALLED REPAIRER OF BROKEN WALLS;
   RESTORER OF STREETS WITH DWELLINGS. 

We had seen how God was faithful to use us in this regard for many of our children and well....we just never had the chance with Jaqueline since at the time she was 17 and her mom was so far away. It had not even crossed my mind that God was about to use Terri and I as "Repairers of Broken Walls" during our trip to Chiapas!

I mentioned earlier that we were expecting some resistance from Jaqueline's mom, but she was in fact praying for our arrival. Jaqueline had moved from her future mother-in-law's house to be with her mother before and after the birth of her daughter. This was a surprise to me as was the name change from Allison to Frida (her mom's favorite name), but now I see that God was preparing everything. Now, I don't know the ins and outs of every aspect of their relationship, but we could see that Jaqueline obviously loves her mom and Francisca obviously loves her daughter. There are strains in the relationship, but I am not going to go into details because it is not really my place to share.

God had been preparing me for the trip by giving me Bible verses with the theme of 'hope.' Terri kindly translated for me as I shared these with Jaqueline and my prayers for her. Terri also encouraged Jaqueline with verses and songs. I was so thankful for Terri's presence because she so clearly and eloquently shared God's word whereas I tended to end up in tears by the end of any conversation that involved sharing of emotions:).

Terri also gently, but boldly spoke with Jaqueline's mom about the importance of grace and how as Christians, we need to daily practice 'taking off' our old self (anger, selfishness, etc) and 'putting on' our new identity in Christ (love, peace, patience, etc.). She reassured Francisca that she is not alone in her struggle to do this- we are all with her!

These conversations took place on Saturday and the following day, Sunday, was our final time together. Our last day.

We went to church that morning and I can't tell you how loved we felt and how Terri and I wished we could be in Mexico with the resources we have here. We took down email addresses and many many pictures were snapped:



The time came to say goodbye to Jaqueline. Compared to the day we arrived, Jaqueline seemed to have a renewed sense of hope- her spark was back and she was just treasuring every moment with her daughter. I think we all had a sense that God's timing for us to be with them was absolutely perfect.



Since I had the opportunity to share with Jaqueline the day before and I had left a letter for her that day, I was prepared for a simple, but meaningful goodbye. You know- a long hug and maybe a few tears.

God had different plans. Terri and I were sitting with Jaqueline, letting her know it was time for us to go and Francisca came into the room and sat down on the bed with Frida.

 

She wanted to share with us how much it meant that we were there. She spoke to me (Terri translated) and said how thankful she was for all that we had given for Jaqueline and Ashley and now for this trip. She told everyone that Terri and I were angels sent by God to their family. Francisca then asked if I wanted to say anything. Way to be put on the spot!



I gently took Frida from her arms and though a little flustered, managed to tell Frida, "Let me tell you a little about your mommy and big sister. They became a part of our family a few years ago and it was rather strange because right away I loved them SO much." I think it was at this point that I broke down, gave Frida to Jaqueline, hugged her, and cried. Through the tears, I managed to tell Jaqueline and her mom, "It has been a blessing to see how God is watching over your family and I pray that he keeps using you as lights to show others what a loving God he is."

Jaqueline and I held onto each other for a while and sobbed. I would stop briefly to wipe the tears from her eyes. It was a surreal moment, really, because a little less than two years ago we were in that same position....with a similar intensity of emotions. The only difference was that she had Ashley's body in her arms and on this day she held Frida.

A few moments later, Francisca also began to cry. She cried and I went to embrace her. This time I didn't need a translator to understand what she was saying. In just about a month it would be the day that Ashley was born. On October 29th, she would have been three years old. I don't know if Jaqueline had ever seen her mom openly grieve, but I am guessing she had not. We spent some time talking about memories of Ashley from when she lived in Chiapas. I had remembered Jaqueline telling me that she liked the birds, a cat, and Francisca reminded me of the story when she picked a bunny up by the ears! 

Finally, Jaqueline spoke up and said she wanted to say something. I was so surprised because she had been incredibly quiet during our time there. She began to tell me how much it meant to her that I had been there for her during so many important times in her life and then she couldn't go on. More tears and embraces. Jaqueline didn't really need to say anything because I can just look at her face and know what is on her heart.

I forget when, but at some point, Francisca had invited their helper, Pati, to join us. She had a special place in Terri's heart and this was shared with her.



Who knows what she thought of all the emotions shared in that little room, but I pray that God used it for her to see how powerful HIS love is for all of us. That he could bring strangers together and create a beautiful family....that he could bring two white women into this small neighborhood and begin HIS work in REBUILDING families, REPAIRING broken relationships, and RESTORING them all to himself.