Hanging on to Hope

Today was one of those days when I probably had a little too much time to think.

The school year came to a close and as everyone said sad goodbyes and talked about next school year...asking if the boys were going to be back...I felt like escaping.

I didn't want to say goodbye. I didn't want to imagine what next school year might be like without him. When people asked if I was looking forward to summer, all I wanted to answer was, "NO. Absolutely NOT."

So I left a little early and drove to a nearby park. It was about 103 degrees out so the park was empty. I sat in the shade of a tree and just prayed. I looked around and realized how little time I spend admiring God's creation. It made me feel so small and I liked that feeling. I liked feeling small and protected by a God who is so much bigger than me. By a God that sees the big picture when I am caught up in the 'muck' ...you know, the worry, the sadness, the worry:).

Our only hope of surviving this in a way that will build our family up rather than tear it down is to continually place all of our fears and concerns into the very capable hands of our Father...I mean, He created this world so surely He can handle our baggage!

I pray that God helps to continue to make this summer into one that teaches us how to TRUST and to HEAL. We have already started the journey...the challenge is just moving forward.

While, I am still not all that enthusiastic about what lies ahead...I am hanging on to the hope I have in Christ because.....

"5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5: 5-8