While I was cleaning and organizing today, I found some notes I took during an in-service about grief. Yes, this topic is on my mind far too much, but when you adopt and are a foster parent...loss is inevitable for your children. I want to be prepared. Here are some of the notes I wrote down...
Grief = reaction to loss
..can increase problems with attachment and identity
grief heals more quickly if you grieve with someone else
Signs in children: act out, disorganized, panic/scared, do not sleep or eat as well, numb, regression, guilt/blame self, relief
Reactions to multiple losses: (3-5yrs) separation anxiety, (6-8yrs) reduced self-esteem, stomach aches/headaches, angry, aggressive
I sometimes forget how much loss David has experienced, but after weekends like this I am reminded. Friday we spent time with his birth mom and it was SO hard for him to say goodbye. Then today we spent the morning with Z and talked to his big brother on the phone this evening! David has had to say 'goodbye' to so many important people in his life, but we do our best to reassure him that there will always be more 'hello's.' We comfort him and help him process his losses knowing that there will be more in the future. We're ok with this, though, because with those losses comes great gain in knowing and loving others.
Here are pictures from the playground today:
Other Notes:
Today Z asked her grandmother if David was her cousin or her brother:). They love each other so much! We agreed that we have to be better about getting them together.
David, Z, and I were playing, pretending to feed lions at the zoo when two older gentlemen got my attention and commented, "You're obviously not their mother...are you their nanny?" Little do they know!
David still gets silly and has a hard time talking with his brother on the phone. It is difficult to be patient with him. His big brother, F, asked when we would see each other. Yeah!! I hope they can see each other soon.
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