Emergency Button

You know those emergency buttons on elevators? And do they even have them on the metro? Well, you know what they are...the emergency buttons. If something is happening that you feel is dangerous, you can push or pull that button and stop the ride.

The ride. I suppose it is more like a roller coaster, in which case you really don't have an emergency button on those...you just have to suffer through it until it is over.

I've said this phrase so many times....foster parenting is an 'emotional roller coaster,' but it is so worth it because the kids are so worth it.

I just forgot how exhausting it is. It is hard.

Tonight I just want off the ride. Or at least just a little reprieve from the uncertainty. I want him to stay.

If I can't get off the ride, then I at least want (A) and David to have a little break from it....

I cannot even imagine how the lack of permanency is impacting (A) .

I know a little more about how this is effecting David....he needs more reassurance that he is here forever. He wakes up with nightmares calling out for (A) or for me or Lee.

BUT when I see (A) so proud to show his mom around our home...HIS home and when I see them connecting....I feel God so clearly showing me how He is using this.

When I watch David so carefully take care of his stuffed animals who 'don't have a family'....then I see how God is using this to shape his heart.

When I read of how God's 'faithful love endures forever,' I am reminded that we are to love faithfully, we are to love with endurance, and we are to love forever.

And so I resist pushing that emergency button and I continue on this ride....knowing that when it is over...it will have been so worth it. Love always is.