"Remember last year?" I asked Lee, "When we were cleaning and packing to go to California and we thought we would come home to having three boys [(A)'s little brother]?"
I cannot believe it has been a year. (A) understands so much more now and is thrilled beyond anything to celebrate his birthday at Disneyland. He wants cupcakes and a crown for his birthday. I think we can manage that.
In a few days we will have two four year old boys in our family. This morning a nice older woman asked me, "Are they yours?" I answered, "Yes" and then of course she wanted to know how old they were.
"You had them so close together," she commented. "I had mine close together too."
I was happy to turn the conversation over to her! The older the boys get, the less comfortable I feel about answering more personal questions.
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You might be wondering how I am feeling lately about (A)'s situation. God is good. This afternoon I opened my Bible to 1 Samuel, which happens to be the same book I read before we decided to become foster parents. It speaks volumes to me as a mom (and especially as a foster mom) because it is a story about a woman named Hannah who cried and prayed for a child for years. When God answered her prayer, she promised to give His gift to her (a son) back to Him. After three years of loving and raising her son, she 'gave him back to God' by bringing him to be raised by a priest in the temple. I cannot even imagine the emotions she must have experienced, but also...what an amazing example to us moms!
God used these passages to remind me of how important it is for me to thank Him for my gifts (my sons) by giving them back to Him. In my case, trusting that no matter what, God has their (and my) best interest at heart. The reason that this touches my heart in such a unique way is because as foster parents, we have to physically give our children 'back' .... and even though our hearts may be breaking at the time, we are practicing the act of truly giving our gifts back into God's hands knowing that only He can heal them and us.
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So tomorrow morning we will be on our way....on our way to celebrate the birth of our youngest and the birth of our loving Savior!
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