This is Familiar

I know that deep sorrow. The tears that fall faster than you can breathe. The desperate feeling when you don't want to say goodbye because it feels like your heart is ripping out of your chest, but you know you don't have a choice. He will be leaving, although we don't know when.

It has been a long time since I have seen it in David, though.

David has experienced many losses in his life. Early on we felt it was important that we not hide anything from him, but allow him to learn how to grieve in a healthy way.

The goodbyes with Baby C two years ago and Little D last fall went very smoothly for him. Yes, he grieved, but he expressed his emotions and processed it all very easily. I was amazed and very thankful.

The only other time I have seen him grieve like this was when we were preparing him to say goodbye to Anthony almost four years ago. Brothers for almost two years, and only 6 months apart. It was a very difficult time.

This time, David's connection to Little D is stronger because the little guy is older and absolutely adores his big brothers.

So tonight, David just sobbed. I held him and wiped away his tears. Praying that God would give me the wisdom to know how to support him through this in a way that would strengthen his faith and love rather than harden his heart.

These are two verses that came to mind as I was holding him and keeping him close:

Psalm 91:4 "He will cover you with his feather. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection."

Psalm 56: 8 "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"

We are so blessed by David's heart for others and know that God is going to use his tender heart in big ways as he grows.