Loving & Letting Go

I wasn't so sure how I would hold up saying goodbye to Baby C tonight....I felt like I was on the verge of tears almost all day and the last thing I wanted was to be a sobbing mess during a time when I needed to hold it together.

My incredible husband left during a stressful time at work to come home and support his emotionally fragile wife so that she could pull it together for the rest of the day:). What a gift!

This last day, while incredibly sad, was still really special...both boys (especially Anthony) got some quality play time in with the baby. Lee and I both snuggled and tickled and loved on him as well.

We did everything we wanted to do to support the boys on this transition day (reading the transition book, talking about feelings, packing, giving special matching toys) and overall it went really well.

This afternoon, while Lee was rocking the baby to sleep and David was indoors finishing up some work, Anthony and I went outside.

As Anthony put on his helmet and jumped on his bike, I sat back and felt God asking me...

"Remember when you thought you were going to say goodbye to him?"

I remembered as if it were yesterday...watching him and David on their bikes, wondering what it was going to be like without him with us. And yet, I have the privilege of now calling Anthony my son forever!

And so in the midst of sorrow, I felt joy and deep appreciation for our family....what a gift to be able to raise our two boys and join them in experiencing what it is like to love with all our hearts despite knowing that we will need to let go.