In fact, the placement coordinator has this list of families that is color coded so that on call workers can use it for emergency placements. She had color coded us as 'full' and has not changed it. Apparently, if the worker looks close enough, they might see that we do in fact have room, but if they just glance at the color - they won't have a clue.
I like it that way for now....because I am not yet ready.
I AM ready for some more pictures of Little D, though. It has been a while and I am having dreams about him. I miss him so very much. We have recordings of his sweet voice singing songs and reading books. The other day I listened to them and cried.
The boys and I are currently in a 'sad spot.' We talk about him all the time because everything reminds us of him. We hear a train and ALL of us automatically say, "Little D would love that!" They watched the movie, Cars 2, with friends last night and on our way home we talked about how "Little D really likes cars, but might be scared of this one part." He is on our mind when we read a Bible story he loved or hear a song he liked to listen to. I go grocery shopping and certain foods remind me of him. Tonight, I steamed the last of some of his favorite frozen veggies and it was hard for me to throw the bag away.
For me, it makes such a difference to read updates and see pictures. I'm not sure about the boys. I think it helps them a little, but they would prefer to see him in person. That helps them the most. We need to get their passports. I'd hop on a plane in a second to go visit him if I could. Just to see him and hug him again. Oh, that would be amazing. Maybe one day...
In the meanwhile, I am so very ready to hear about and see more pictures of our sweet boy.
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