Going Back

If it had been my first time there, I probably would have been lost.

It wasn't my first time, though, and the hospital was uncomfortably familiar today. It was the same time of year....just 6 years later. 

As Little D and I walked down the hall toward the ER, I glanced toward the right and saw the alley where my car was parked 6 years ago. As we passed security, my heart started pounding as I remembered begging for them to let us through the line because she was barely breathing. 

We were walking down the hall to the Main entrance now and Little D was singing Jingle Bells at the top of his lungs. I snapped out of those vivid memories from so long ago and returned to reality. As I looked down at my sweet and very lively little guy...I smiled and praised God for his life. 

Ashley was only 14 months old when she died of a brain tumor at that very hospital. We had seen many of her smiles, experienced the joy of her laughter, and are still in the process of healing from her death.  

I suppose it is important to experience days like today. Going back reminds me how important it is to pray for the children and families who are in the hospital and uncertain of how much time they have left together. 

As always, Ashley's death reminds me of this: 

Romans 5: 3-5 

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." 

Praying for those who are "Going Back" during this season.  That we may all find enough comfort and strength to endure a little more, grow a little more, and develop a hope that allows us to love with all our hearts no matter how much it might hurt.